Intimate Wedding vs Elopement vs Traditional Wedding: WTF should we do?! Advise from an Oregon Elopement and Wedding Photographer

Wild + Tame Photo
Feb 24
5 min read

What gives me the right to give you advise? Probably not much BUT I have been photographing weddings and elopements for almost 7 years. I've photographed intimate weddings in Italy and Mexico and all over the states, and have photographed elopements from Ireland, to the states. I know a couple things I promise

If you’ve been deep in wedding planning TikTok or Pinterest lately, you’ve probably noticed something:

Big traditional weddings aren’t the only option anymore.“Elopement” doesn’t mean running off to Vegas in secret anymore. And intimate weddings? They’re having a serious main-character moment.

But what actually is the difference between an elopement, an intimate wedding, and a traditional wedding?

I’ll give you an unbiased breakdown of the logistics so you and your partner can plan exactly what you need!

What Is a Traditional Wedding?

Traditional weddings are what most people picture when they hear “wedding.”

Typical guest count: 100–250+

Vibe: Formal, structured, timeline-heavy, fun, big party energy

Common features:

Large venue
Full wedding party
Formal reception with dinner + dancing
Busier timeline
Lots of moving parts

Traditional weddings are awesome and an absolute blast but they’re also:

Expensive
Logistically complex
Often more about hosting than experiencing especially if you don’t have the budget for a planner/coordinator

✨ Best for couples who:

Want the big party energy
Have large families
Love formal traditions
Don’t mind a structured, full-day schedule

How this affects photography…no bullshit

Not as much time for the couples photos, since we have to follow a pretty strict timeline (if we run late, everything else runs late) it can feel a little bit like an assembly line. Especially if you have a big wedding party and family.
Less candid photography but still beautiful, curated images
Might feel a bit rushed, I try to make sure my couples know this before their wedding day especially if they don’t want to pay for a second shooter. Don’t shoot the messenger, your photographer is truly just making sure you make it to your ceremony, reception, dinner, etc on time.
The couple is always the photographer’s priority, but everyone at the wedding wants their moment in front of the camera. We have to be able to get photos of your aunts and uncles while also ensuring your moments are captured.
Uncle Bob who owned a camera once will think they know photography more than the photographer and will probably let us know - it’s ok, we love the Uncle Bobs of the weddings

What Is an Intimate Wedding?

An intimate wedding is basically the happy middle between a full wedding and an elopement!

Typical guest count: 15–60

Vibe: Intentional, cozy, meaningful

Still includes: ceremony + celebration, just scaled down

Think:

A private estate
Destination wedding
A small restaurant buyout
A backyard wedding that actually feels elevated
A boutique venue with your favorite people only

You still get the emotional moments of a wedding — just with less people and probably less money spent

✨ Best for couples who:

Want family and friends present
Care about a slower experience
Want flexibility in timeline and location
Prefer quality time with guests

Hot take: Intimate weddings are where the magic usually lives.

What about photography?

You’ll probably need a photographer for less hours (maybe)
A relaxed timeline means more time for candid, intentional photos and creating those moments
Less rushed formal photos
More time to change locations for couples photos
Probably won’t need a second shooter

Last but certainly not least is the one with the scandalous reputation whose meaning has changed over the years - THE ELOPEMENT

What Is an Elopement (Modern Version)?

Okay let’s clear this up because the definition has seriously evolved.

Old-school elopement:

Secret courthouse

No guests

Quick and quiet

SCANDAL - think Bridgerton Gretna Green (iykyk)

Modern elopement:

Typical guest count: 0–10

Vibe: Adventurous, personal, experience-first

Focus: just the two of you plus maybe a few family or friends

Modern elopements can look like:

Saying vows on the Oregon coast
Hiking to a mountain overlook
Renting a stunning Airbnb for a private ceremony
Courthouse + champagne + killer portraits

It’s less about “running away” and more about intentionally choosing intimacy and freedom.

✨ Best for couples who:

Hate being the center of attention
Don’t want to spend the budget on food and drinks
Want a relaxed, non-traditional day
Care more about the experience than the guest list
Love travel, nature, or unique locations
Just want to keep it chill

Quick Comparison: Elopement vs. Intimate Wedding vs. Traditional Wedding

Feature	Elopement	Intimate Wedding	Traditional Wedding
Guest count	0–10	15–60	100–250+
Focus	Couple experience	Meaningful gathering	Large celebration
Timeline	Flexible	Semi-structured	Highly structured
Cost	Lowest	Mid-range	Highest
Stress level	Low	Moderate	Highest
Location freedom	Very high	High	More limited

How to Choose What’s Right for You

If you’re stuck in decision mode like I am 99% of the time, ask yourselves:

1. Do we want a party or an experience?Be honest. Neither answer is wrong!

2. How important is having family and friends present?This is usually the deciding factor.

3. What kind of energy do we want on the day?

Calm and intentional → elopement
Cozy but celebratory → intimate wedding
Big party energy → traditional wedding

4. Do we want flexibility or structure?

Your nervous system will thank you for answering this truthfully.

What would I do? Me and Cooper will most likely go with an intimate wedding when the time comes, it's important for us to have some of our closest family and friends but we do not have the budget for a big wedding. Happy middle it is! I personally am not a fan of a big wedding (for myself), I'd hate the structure of the day, the attention, and rushing. I like to keep things more relaxed - if I don't have time to eat I will be hangry af

The Wild + Tame Perspective (aka my photographer hot take)

After photographing everything from packed vanues to cliffside vows, here’s the honest truth:

The best weddings — big or small — are the ones that feel like you.

Not your mom. Not Pinterest. Not the wedding industry machine.

If the idea of a huge wedding lights you up? Do it big. Fuck it up, go all out and let me be there to capture your awesome energy.

If the idea of reading private vows on the Oregon coast makes your chest feel calm and full?

You already know your answer.

As an elopement photographer, and wedding photographer of 6+ years I know the pressures of doing what your family wants you to do. But let’s be real, we are no longer in the times of parents paying for weddings. Do what’s right for you and your bank account. In the end this is YOUR day and it’s about your love. Make it what you want and need it to be

Planning Your Portland Intimate Wedding or Elopement?

If you're dreaming of something intentional, a little non-traditional, and fully you — hi, you’re in the right place.

At Wild + Tame Photo, we specialize in: